There are some days when its just a little harder to send your child out the door to school. Today is one of those for me. We are just finishing Fall Break and have enjoyed having friends over, sleeping late, making pancakes and just plain relaxing. Back in the day, I didn't have Fall Break, but I can honestly say that our community has wholeheartedly embraced the idea of taking some time to time to enjoy this beautiful season. Lots of families take off for the mountains, some go to visit family, and some go to the beach. Others, like us, just enjoy the beauty of being in Middle Tennessee. It has also become a great time for college trips and school fieldtrips. That's what some of our teachers and students did for Fall Break. They took a wonderful trip to Williamsburg, Virginia.
My 8th grade son and I visited Williamsburg a few years ago when we went there for a baseball tournament so he decided to "pass" on this particular school trip. But there were lots of kids and teachers who were excited to go. Knowing 8th graders like I do, I'm sure the "educational value" was not their top reason for wanting to go. The teachers, however, realized the huge educational value of actually visiting this piece of history and actually experiencing the sights and sounds "in person." These teachers who choose to take their Fall Break to spend more time with their students also realize the importance of forming valueable relationships with their students. They know that sometimes these kinds of memories can only be made through experiences out of the classroom. These teachers see mostly every moment as a "teaching moment." It gives teachers and students a chance to interact and learn about things other than "what's going to be on the test." They get to learn about life.
Every so often teachers come along that your child just "clicks with." You know, from looking at their homework and their classwork, that your child is "getting it." This is a very good thing when you have come to the realization that you can't begin to understand 8th grade math, much less explain how to do it. It's been sortof a "flip" statement at our house that "none of our kids have math brains." They have all struggled with math through the years. What I knew deep down, because I experienced it in 9th grade, was that math can be understood, if taught right. I had a 9th grade Algebra teacher, Mrs. Martin, and she could flat out teach Algebra. It all made sense, for whatever reason. So I recognize a really good math teacher when I see one. This year when I went to 8th grade Open House I was THRILLED to hear my son's math teacher talk about the methods he liked to use to teach math. He had puzzles and games and a "hands on" approach to math. I was so excited because, you know, our family doesn't really have "math brains." Well guess what........my 8th grader does have a "math brain" and his teacher, Mr. Benton, knew how to tap into it. I have watched, daily I might add, the online assignments and grades and creative ways that Mr. Benton teaches math. Such a change from the "traditional boring" way of teaching math. So, without even knowing Mr. Benton, other than our brief Open House introduction, I had grown to love the way he was making my son know that, yes, he does have a brain that can learn math........and understand it and have fun learning it.
Mr. Benton was one of those teachers who knew that experiences out of the classroom were every bit as important to a child's learning as the tedious experiences in the classroom. He was on the Williamsburg trip this past weekend. He had chosen to go and tour this historical place and enjoy sharing that learning experience with his students. He had chosen to use his Fall Break to do this because he loved teaching and loved his students. Because I didn't know him personally, I know all of this from FaceBook posts from previous students he had in California. Students across the country and from a number of years ago were saying the same things about Mr. Benton that his currrent students were beginning to find out. He was interested in his students' wellbeing. He called them "kiddo" when they were talking. He listened to them, which is sometimes difficult with Middle Schoolers.
Today was a hard day to send my 8th grader out the door to school because Mr. Benton won't be in his classroom. While on the Fall Break trip to Williamsburg he suddenly fell ill and didn't survive. Thirty three years old with a wife and little baby girl. The other teachers who were on the trip had to make that long bus ride back knowing what they would be facing when they got back. Meetings with parents, crying 8th grade students, and their own questions of "how could this happen?" Middle Schoolers are so resilient. They will walk in the classroom and it will feel strange.....quiet and somber where there was so much learning and laughter. They will be encouraged to "talk about their feelings" but we all know that's probably not going to happen, with the boys anyway. Maybe with the girls. What I hope is that the love of students and the love of learning that Mr. Benton portrayed will be carried on in the hearts of the students. I hope that one day there will be some who become teachers because they knew how he was able to make math "come alive" for them. I pray for the teachers and staff in our school as they not only continue to learn life's difficult lessons, but struggle to somehow try to answer the questions from the students. I am so thankful for great teachers in the lives of our children. They are fulfilling a calling that is so much bigger than a GPA or an ACT score. These teachers are making "math brains" out of "non math brains." When I sent my13 year old out the door today, I knew that he would be horrified to think that I would want to take him to school and walk through the day with him. So I prayed for him and I prayed for our awesome teachers and staff who will face a difficult week ahead. And I prayed for Mr. Benton's family, who I will never meet. And I gently asked God to please send another talented caring math teacher to our school........because we honor Mr. Benton by realizing that we should finish what he so carefully and lovingly started.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Saying "Goodbye" to Sylvan Park
One of my favorite things to do in life is "sit around and chat." Friends and family have been known to get random calls or texts from me asking about going to lunch, playing cards, going to the beach, or coming over for a glass of wine on the screened in porch. All of these are just "cover ups" for "Hey, let's get together and chat." I would say that 99% of the time, it's just that. Let's "chat" about whatever comes to mind. Only 1% of the time is it to, let's say, "gripe." I'm not a fan of high drama nor am I a fan of negative feelings. Every so often I do feel the need, and so I will call and say, "I need to gripe." I feel like I should warn my friends and family because most of the time this kind of talk "goes against the grain" for me. Most of the time I will even ask for permission....."Can I gripe for just a minute?" I am thankful for those who are willing to listen to me, for just a few minutes, and then move on. These people know that I really don't want to dwell because I HATE negativity and prefer to look for the glass as "half full."
I'm not sure when I discovered how much I loved "chatting sessions" but I think it might go back to having lunch with my Dad while I was in college. He would call me when I was at Belmont and take me to lunch. As a college student, I was always "up" for a free lunch, especially with my dad. Back then the lunches were mostly about how my classes were going, how my money was holding out and he never let a lunch go by without asking about my friends and how each of them was doing. Through the years these lunches have progressed to deeper conversations. We have tackled the world's problems, we have discussed prophecy and truths from the Bible, we have talked about his upbringing and how it affected his life, and countless other topics. He still asks me about every one of my friends and now asks me about every one of my children. These lunch dates have become FAR more than a free lunch and a "chat" with my dad. They are now a time to hear more wisdom that money can buy and a time to reflect on life. He so openly shares his thoughts and his life that it inspires me to do the same.
My dad started taking my boys and all of his grandchildren for lunch "chats" several years ago. Sometimes he will take them "one on one" and other times he takes a group of two or three. He realizes that the way to their hearts, and their conversation, is through food. Just like with me, he lets them pick the place and they can order whatever they want. One very special place that they always pick is Sylvan Park Restaurant. They can go there and get as many starches as they want and finish it off with chocolate pie and he never says a word. In fact, it's expected. Today, October 19th, 2012, is the last day for the orginal location of Sylvan Park to be opened. The building is old and run down and they are closing it down for good. A few weeks ago my sister, my Dad and I took three of the grandsons there for a final meal at this well loved part of our history. While enjoying the delicious food there, the conversation quickly turned to my Dad telling all of us about growing up in Sylvan Park as a kid and how they used to go sledding on McCabe's Golf Course and then come to Sylvan Park for hot chocolate. He recounted how the family who owned the restaurant lived in the house right behind the restaurant and how the gas station next door was owned by a "fishing buddy" of my grandfather's. We heard about the "Blizzard of 51" and how people would go to Sylvan Park to eat because they couldn't drive anywhere, only walk. I could have sat all day long and listened to these stories but the restaurant got so crowded that we felt compelled to give someone else our seats.
These kinds of "chats" are worth more than silver or gold to me. I commented to my dad that while it was special in the moment, I could see these four grandsons telling their kids about it one day and when they did, it would mean a thousand times more. That's just how it works. I'm sure when my dad was getting hot chocolate there and sledding with his friends back in 1951 he had no idea what that would mean to him in 2012. He had no idea that he would be eating with two of his daughters and three of his grandsons and recounting all of those precious memories. I wouldn't trade the day that we had for anything. I am thankful for these spontaneous moments that God gives us to recount what really matters in life and I am thankful for the older folks who take the time to convey their life's wisdom to us. I am also thankful for my friends and family who love to "chat" with me. May our lives be sweeter for the times we spent at Sylvan Park.
I'm not sure when I discovered how much I loved "chatting sessions" but I think it might go back to having lunch with my Dad while I was in college. He would call me when I was at Belmont and take me to lunch. As a college student, I was always "up" for a free lunch, especially with my dad. Back then the lunches were mostly about how my classes were going, how my money was holding out and he never let a lunch go by without asking about my friends and how each of them was doing. Through the years these lunches have progressed to deeper conversations. We have tackled the world's problems, we have discussed prophecy and truths from the Bible, we have talked about his upbringing and how it affected his life, and countless other topics. He still asks me about every one of my friends and now asks me about every one of my children. These lunch dates have become FAR more than a free lunch and a "chat" with my dad. They are now a time to hear more wisdom that money can buy and a time to reflect on life. He so openly shares his thoughts and his life that it inspires me to do the same.
My dad started taking my boys and all of his grandchildren for lunch "chats" several years ago. Sometimes he will take them "one on one" and other times he takes a group of two or three. He realizes that the way to their hearts, and their conversation, is through food. Just like with me, he lets them pick the place and they can order whatever they want. One very special place that they always pick is Sylvan Park Restaurant. They can go there and get as many starches as they want and finish it off with chocolate pie and he never says a word. In fact, it's expected. Today, October 19th, 2012, is the last day for the orginal location of Sylvan Park to be opened. The building is old and run down and they are closing it down for good. A few weeks ago my sister, my Dad and I took three of the grandsons there for a final meal at this well loved part of our history. While enjoying the delicious food there, the conversation quickly turned to my Dad telling all of us about growing up in Sylvan Park as a kid and how they used to go sledding on McCabe's Golf Course and then come to Sylvan Park for hot chocolate. He recounted how the family who owned the restaurant lived in the house right behind the restaurant and how the gas station next door was owned by a "fishing buddy" of my grandfather's. We heard about the "Blizzard of 51" and how people would go to Sylvan Park to eat because they couldn't drive anywhere, only walk. I could have sat all day long and listened to these stories but the restaurant got so crowded that we felt compelled to give someone else our seats. 
These kinds of "chats" are worth more than silver or gold to me. I commented to my dad that while it was special in the moment, I could see these four grandsons telling their kids about it one day and when they did, it would mean a thousand times more. That's just how it works. I'm sure when my dad was getting hot chocolate there and sledding with his friends back in 1951 he had no idea what that would mean to him in 2012. He had no idea that he would be eating with two of his daughters and three of his grandsons and recounting all of those precious memories. I wouldn't trade the day that we had for anything. I am thankful for these spontaneous moments that God gives us to recount what really matters in life and I am thankful for the older folks who take the time to convey their life's wisdom to us. I am also thankful for my friends and family who love to "chat" with me. May our lives be sweeter for the times we spent at Sylvan Park.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Why "Staying Quiet" isn't an option
Well, here we go. I created this blogspot so that I could express my views, as a 48 year old female, and as someone who has experienced life and now has some things to say about it. I've tried to be honest while reflecting on my experiences throughout my lifetime. I am also a Christian woman who is striving to love people well. I have said over and over that I enjoy hearing everyone's side. I love knowing where people are "coming from" even though I might have an entirely different perspective. I could see myself sitting down daily with different groups from different backgrounds and discussing everything from politics to religion and enjoying every minute of it. I rarely even get mad about other opinions because I enjoy the conversations and various talking points so much. However, I do have my views and my opinions and freely express them. I was watching "post debate commentary" with my 16 year old son last night and the commentator mentioned that "women would not look favorably at all of the interrupting that the candidates were doing during the debate." My son says to me, "I feel like you like the arguments and don't mind the interrupting." To which I replied that I can't stand rude interruptions, but I do LOVE a good debate. Southern women do not interrupt and we always say "Please and Thank you."
Now, here is my first thought. Maybe others don't feel this way, but I'm a little offended, no very offended, at the way women are still being looked at in this election season. The fact that we are a "voting block" rubs me the wrong way. Because I live with 4 men in the house I do realize that women are from Venus and men are from Mars, or vice versa. We most definitely have our differences. But really. Are all women really that concerned with how our birth control methods will be paid for? When considering a person for President of the most powerful country in the world, that never even enters my mind. I'm thinking back to my more "fertile" days when it might have mattered and honestly, it still never ever entered my mind that my health insurance plan would or would not pay for my birth control. If I remember correctly, a package of BC pills used to cost around $20/month which is a heck of a lot cheaper than having a baby and raising it to adulthood. I think it's SHALLOW that so much emphasis is placed on this point. If you want to talk about equality then lets talk equality. Let's be honest about this. Until young men are raised to respect what is on the inside of a woman and not just on the outside, we will have a big problem with inequality. I am a white, educated, part time working mother of three teenage sons, and I'm from the South. Believe me, I know inequality when I see it.
Issues that I am interested in hearing about include educating our children, providing jobs for all kinds of people with all kinds of talents and gifts, making healthcare more affordable to working people but giving them the freedom to choose through the free market, and tax equality for EVERYONE!!!! I'm sick to death about hearing about the "middle class." What exactly is that? My 16 year old asked me if we are part of the middle class? Who would know and who cares? The world and specifically our country is made up of all kinds of "classes." I don't know which one we fit into and don't care at all. This, in my opinion, is simply a way of forcing people to ask themselves "which class am I in?" Stupid? Yes. What we should be asking ourselves is "What are my God given gifts and how can I use them for His glory?" Now, some people are given gifts and they use those gifts to make lots of money. If they are using these gifts correctly then they are using this money to create jobs, give back to society and take care of their families. The way I see it, Mitt Romney has used his gifts to do all of these. To characterize this man as a liar and a cheater who is rich and doesn't pay his fair share just insults my intelligence and screams, SCREAMS, of "class warfare." The man gave away a HUGE percentage of his earnings to charity. He created a HUGE number of jobs along the way, and he has no reason whatsoever to lie about anything.
Here is another thought that keeps just nagging. There is cover up and lying going on in this entire Libya debacle. So what if Mitt Romney "missed his chance" at nailing President Obama to the wall concerning when or what context the word "terror" was used re: these attacks. To think that the administration was totally "in the dark" about the requests for more security at the embassy is a joke. To think that they didn't know that the total lie that was told about the supposed protest over a muslim youtube was because "information was still coming in?" That is also an insult to me. To think that they can try to make me, a woman, believe this and then passify me by telling me they will help me pay for my birth control is demeaning, to say the least. Here is my response to the whole bunch, "You are lying. You are covering up. You did go to Las Vegas and The View while doing all of this. I don't believe you, no matter how tough you might try to appear. And thanks but no thanks, I can handle my own birth control."
Last point, for today, at least. I know that God is in control. I am FULLY aware of that. My life shows me that every single day. I also know that God allows kings and kingdoms to rise and fall and always has. If you read your Bible you know that God allowed plenty of wicked kings to rule. So, should the current administration be elected again, I'm still going to get up every morning and send my children to school. My husband and I will still go to work and pay the enormous amount of taxes that we pay. We will still use our gifts to benefit our community and our family. We will still support our military and our country. What I refuse to do is go down without a fight or give up my freedom of speech. I think that there are people who don't feel comfortable speaking out for what is right, and that is fine. But I feel uncomfortable in my Spirit letting things "slide." There is a very obvious line between "sketchy" and "honorable." It is not a fine line and it is not hard to see unless one simply refuses to see it. I know I am a woman and maybe some only see me as a voting block, but history has shown that women are more than just a discussion about birth control and abortion. I am proud to be in the Romney/Ryan camp. That's my story and I'm stickin to it!!!!
Now, here is my first thought. Maybe others don't feel this way, but I'm a little offended, no very offended, at the way women are still being looked at in this election season. The fact that we are a "voting block" rubs me the wrong way. Because I live with 4 men in the house I do realize that women are from Venus and men are from Mars, or vice versa. We most definitely have our differences. But really. Are all women really that concerned with how our birth control methods will be paid for? When considering a person for President of the most powerful country in the world, that never even enters my mind. I'm thinking back to my more "fertile" days when it might have mattered and honestly, it still never ever entered my mind that my health insurance plan would or would not pay for my birth control. If I remember correctly, a package of BC pills used to cost around $20/month which is a heck of a lot cheaper than having a baby and raising it to adulthood. I think it's SHALLOW that so much emphasis is placed on this point. If you want to talk about equality then lets talk equality. Let's be honest about this. Until young men are raised to respect what is on the inside of a woman and not just on the outside, we will have a big problem with inequality. I am a white, educated, part time working mother of three teenage sons, and I'm from the South. Believe me, I know inequality when I see it.
Issues that I am interested in hearing about include educating our children, providing jobs for all kinds of people with all kinds of talents and gifts, making healthcare more affordable to working people but giving them the freedom to choose through the free market, and tax equality for EVERYONE!!!! I'm sick to death about hearing about the "middle class." What exactly is that? My 16 year old asked me if we are part of the middle class? Who would know and who cares? The world and specifically our country is made up of all kinds of "classes." I don't know which one we fit into and don't care at all. This, in my opinion, is simply a way of forcing people to ask themselves "which class am I in?" Stupid? Yes. What we should be asking ourselves is "What are my God given gifts and how can I use them for His glory?" Now, some people are given gifts and they use those gifts to make lots of money. If they are using these gifts correctly then they are using this money to create jobs, give back to society and take care of their families. The way I see it, Mitt Romney has used his gifts to do all of these. To characterize this man as a liar and a cheater who is rich and doesn't pay his fair share just insults my intelligence and screams, SCREAMS, of "class warfare." The man gave away a HUGE percentage of his earnings to charity. He created a HUGE number of jobs along the way, and he has no reason whatsoever to lie about anything.
Here is another thought that keeps just nagging. There is cover up and lying going on in this entire Libya debacle. So what if Mitt Romney "missed his chance" at nailing President Obama to the wall concerning when or what context the word "terror" was used re: these attacks. To think that the administration was totally "in the dark" about the requests for more security at the embassy is a joke. To think that they didn't know that the total lie that was told about the supposed protest over a muslim youtube was because "information was still coming in?" That is also an insult to me. To think that they can try to make me, a woman, believe this and then passify me by telling me they will help me pay for my birth control is demeaning, to say the least. Here is my response to the whole bunch, "You are lying. You are covering up. You did go to Las Vegas and The View while doing all of this. I don't believe you, no matter how tough you might try to appear. And thanks but no thanks, I can handle my own birth control."
Last point, for today, at least. I know that God is in control. I am FULLY aware of that. My life shows me that every single day. I also know that God allows kings and kingdoms to rise and fall and always has. If you read your Bible you know that God allowed plenty of wicked kings to rule. So, should the current administration be elected again, I'm still going to get up every morning and send my children to school. My husband and I will still go to work and pay the enormous amount of taxes that we pay. We will still use our gifts to benefit our community and our family. We will still support our military and our country. What I refuse to do is go down without a fight or give up my freedom of speech. I think that there are people who don't feel comfortable speaking out for what is right, and that is fine. But I feel uncomfortable in my Spirit letting things "slide." There is a very obvious line between "sketchy" and "honorable." It is not a fine line and it is not hard to see unless one simply refuses to see it. I know I am a woman and maybe some only see me as a voting block, but history has shown that women are more than just a discussion about birth control and abortion. I am proud to be in the Romney/Ryan camp. That's my story and I'm stickin to it!!!!
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