God-given "rights"

People often ask me how I decide what I'm going to write about on this blog.  The truth is I don't.  I've noticed in my crazy "middle age" that there are certain moments in life that catch my attention.  Then I start to ponder that moment and usually end up having a conversation with myself, in my head, about whatever it is I'm pondering.  To be honest, it usually happens while I'm running the vacuum or cooking or doing some of my mundane duties.  Sometimes, while I'm having this private conversation with myself, another voice will speak......very quietly.  I have come to believe and know that this is my Spirit, God's Holy Spirit, speaking to me.  I think somewhere in my upbringing I learned that the Holy Spirit talks to us through the scripture, and I believe that to be true with my entire being.  But, God's Holy Spirit in me, also speaks to me in a way I can't describe,  really.  The best way to describe it is that I feel it in my heart.  And it happens mostly when I am making a conscious decision to be quiet and listen.  "Quiet" might be with the vacuum cleaner going or music playing or loading the dishwasher, but it is usually when I'm sortof saying "Ok, Lord, what do you want to teach me?"  So I had another "moment" this week while watching one of my favorite shows, "Parenthood."  It's the season finale so I know that all the stories are going to be wrapped up in a nice package to end the season.  Throughout the season one of the couples has been struggling with their "foster child," Victor.  They have been on a rollercoaster about whether or not to adopt Victor because he is about eleven years old and it isn't always a fun or easy ride.  He is resistant and then they are resisitant.......and then the sister is resistant.  There is this uneasiness about whether or not they should take the leap and legally adopt him.

So I'm watching the show and the scene comes where the couple, The Grahams, show up at the judge's office to officially adopt Victor.  My "moment" came when the judge pronounces that Victor is legally adopted. The judge looks around the room and proudly declares to Victor that "he, as an adopted son,  is entitled to all of the "rights" of a natural son."  I start to feel my eyes burn and have this desire to rewind the DVR and watch the entire scene again. I'm wondering what it is about those words and this scene that have started the pondering and the classic "conversation in my head."  The entire family came together to support each other at the adoption ceremony.  They each brought their own "baggage" and their own problems.  They vowed to support this little boy and each one promised to use their own unique gift to teach him how to function in the world and in their family.   The judge asks 11 year old, Victor, "do you agree to this adoption?"  To which he nonchalantly says "yes" and then the parents promise to love him and take care of him.  Judge says, "That's quite a family you have there.  Ok, on this day, January 24, 2014,  you have officially adopted Victor Graham.   You are now legally their child.  You have all the rights of any natural child."  Now I know why my eyes were burning........ I can hear the voice again, only this time it's louder and more deliberate..........."On this day,  in 1976,  I AM adopting you, Gina Booth.   You are my child and you have all the rights of any natural child."  In all fairness, I have to admit that I didn't realize, just like this little boy on the show, what it meant when I became a part of God's family at age 12.  I didn't know all of the "baggage" my fellow "family members" would bring or all of the issues that we would go through together.  My Sunday school teachers and my parents and their friends all used their unique gifts to help me in my journey and like the little boy on the show, when my Heavenly Father said do you agree to this adoption I nonchalantly answered "yes," just as most 12 year olds would do.  He then did as he promised he would.  He  gave me all of the "rights" of His natural son and promised to love me and take care of me.  It's no wonder my eyes were burning and I couldn't get this scene off of my mind.  I could watch it a hundred times and feel myself in Victor's place and know the joy that goes along with this moment. 

The vastness of this promise didn't dawn on me until I was much older.  The fact that God, the creator of everything, gave me the "right" to become his child, with all of the "rights" of His natural Son, Jesus, is something that is almost too much to comprehend.  I found it amazing and so "God like" that he used a moment from a TV show to, once again, show me how much I am loved.   I also feel compelled to say that just like any family, our Christian family, our church family, whatever you want to call it, is not perfect.  We each bring our own baggage and issues but the bottom line is that we are all adopted by the same Father and He loves us all.   "Yet to all who received Jesus, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God - children not of a natural descent, nor of human decision, but born of God."  John 1:12-13 

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have summoned you by name;  you are mine.  
Isaiah 43:1

 

Suffering produces Character.......Hang in there!!!

This week there has been  much talk, in the news, about "fallen" sports figures.  Words like deception, lies, drug use, scam, doping, cancer and death have been floating around leaving many people with lots and lots of questions.   Everyone is asking why two highly successful, highly visible athletes would lie to and deceive their "fans" like they have.  Children, as well as adults, idolize these people and if they don't "idolize" them, they certainly follow them closely, follow their tweets, and admire their athletic ability.  Whether the person rides a bicycle, plays football, plays basketball, soccer, runs, etc....... doesn't really matter.  Everyone has their opinions of why people, specifically professional athletes, "mess up."  You guessed........I've got my opinion, too. 

As you know, I have three sons.  They have all participated in various sports and have excelled at different ones at different points in their lives.  For instance, one year basketball might go really well and then the next year football gets the focus.  Then, all of a sudden, they might decide that they don't want to play a certain sport at all.  They are "burned out," sick of it, it's no fun anymore, and the reasons go on and on.  I want to make clear right now that I am not an athlete.  Never have been.  I don't like to sweat, don't like to have my side hurt from running too much, and don't understand those that do.  But, I am a mom to three athletes so I am writing from that point of view. 

I think that there are many many reasons why all of us, as human beings, fall into traps involving lying, deception, etc....  But for young athletes it seems different to me.  Men like Lance Armstrong possibly fall into a different category......maybe.  I'm still undecided.  As I'm writing this I'm still not sure, so bear with me.  The pressure that is placed on athletes at a young age is tremendous.  It starts at a young age.  Go to a youth league game sometime and see for yourself.  Sadly, I think I was in the middle of it just a few years ago.  Yelling like a crazy woman, chewing on my jaw everytime my kid got up to bat, or feeling like I might throw up when my son stepped up to the free throw line.  You want them to do well and succeed but a certain amount of pride creeps in when you're kid makes the winning basket, touchdown or homerun.  I think that is a normal reaction and probably something that is out of our control.  But, the abnormal thing is when we and everyone around expects the same result every time.  Do we really think that "Little Johnny" is capable of being the "game winner" every time?  Do we really think that he has the ability, the focus and that fate grants him that responsibility on a regular basis?  Well, yes, we really do.  Especially when they are young and we are young parents and we haven't quite been in the rat race long enough yet.  We put pressure on little kids to "be the star" night in and night out at all kinds of sporting events.  Now, fast forward a few years and they are in Middle School and High School.  Many have dropped out for the reasons I listed earlier and many have dropped out because the pressure became too great.   The very very talented athletes usually stick with what they are good at and more and more pressure builds. Everyone wants to know who is recruiting who.  Where the top recruits are going.  ESPN sends out "alerts" so that you can be the first to know all of the up to the minute recruiting information.

  Fast forward to college age.  Many of these really gifted athletes are now depending on their athletic talent to pay their way through college.  Not only that, but they are now looked at as being "super human." Who can put on the most weight while maintaining their running time?   How much can they squat or bench?    They put in long hours of difficult practice while going to class.  The stress on their mind and the pain in their young bodies is a daily grind that they must deal with.  As a parent you hope and pray that there are coaches, trainers, teachers, friends, someone on campus who will care for them just because they do.  Not because of what they "bring to the team."  Gag......just writing that makes my stomach hurt.   This is the reason I have watched quietly as Notre Dame deals with the Manti Te'o story..........

I have no idea what the real story is.  Did he get scammed?  Did he know that the cyber girlfriend really didn't exist?  Did he get "catfished?"  Did he really meet her face to face or just have an online relationship?  It all sounds beyond ridiculous.  I'm actually typing this thinking to myself how absolutely crazy it all sounds, but the bottom line is I could care less about the fake girlfriend.  What I see when I look at his picture is a very young man who is put on a pedestal, daily.  He reports to a practice facility for many hours every day in all kinds of weather.  He very likely got no family time during the Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays. He puts his body through rigorous workouts so we can all be entertained.  Did he lie?  I don't know.  Did he deceive?  I don't know.  Should he be held accountable for his actions?  Absolutely.   Does it seem that he has people at Notre Dame who are trying to help him and standing with him?  Yes.  This makes me happy and it gives me faith that there are adults who are trying to protect and help our college athletes when they face a situation of this magnitude.  Adults who care about the person and who want to help them find their way.   

I hope that we are all raising our boys to be the right kind of men.  To be honest and to do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult.  I hope that we are teaching them how to develop their character not just their athletic abilities.  I also pray that there will be men who will rise up and support the younger ones who get into trouble, who have trouble handling the pressure, and who will "live" what is right and not just talk about it.   "Suffering produces perserverance, and perserverance, character, and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:4

Gracious Uncertainty

Gracious Uncertainty...... It's a phrase that was mentioned this morning at church. Why was I  fixated on it.  At the age of 48 I find myself reflecting on the oddest things.  Sometimes I wonder why certain things didn't work out in my life and why other things did.  I look back and think about all the time and money wasted on things that seemed so great at the time, only to look foolish now.  There are lots of things that have gone by the wayside that I used to put great importance on.   I used to get a kick out of going into my parent's house and finding my dad sitting in his recliner staring at the ceiling.  No TV on, no book in his hand, no music on the stereo, just staring in silence.  He was just pondering.  Just thinking........just reflecting.   Oh my, I am becoming that.  I pretty much see lessons and reflections in most every event.  Perhaps this is why I was fixated on this phrase, Gracious Uncertainty.

The other day my husband and I were watching an episode of "Bonanza" while eating breakfast.  The episode is playing out on the TV but in my mind, my Spirit is taking me back about 25 years.  1988.  It was a time when I was fresh out of college and working and figuring out what I was going to do next.  It was a time of break up between myself and a white collar boyfriend.  It was a time when the expectations, in the area I grew up in, were high.  Jobs were good, income was plentiful,  people were collecting lots of different things to put on their bookshelves and in their garages.  It was a time of Snow Babies, Precious Moments,  Fur Coats, Florida condos, boats in the garage, and fancy first impressions.  For me, I was a teacher on a limited salary who spent a lot of time on Saturdays watching episodes of "Bonanza" and whatever else happened to be on cable TV.   I remember watching as the Cartwright men worked the Pondorosa and fought the "bad guys."  I loved how they treated all women with respect and I loved how "Ben Cartwright, the dad,"  demanded certain things out of his boys.  Hard work, fun times, dinnertime all together when "Hop Sing" said it was time. Most viewers loved "Little Joe" because he was so handsome, but  I  loved the strength of the middle son, Hoss, the gentle giant.  He could carry anything and anyone on his back and whistle while doing it.  He could also walk into the saloon and "wipe up" every man in there with no problem.  I distinctly remember telling my cousin, Vicki, that I was going to marry someone like Hoss, strong and gentle.  It also helped that Hoss was the "middle child" and I always always always have a soft spot  for the "middle child." 

Gracious Uncertainty.......... I don't really remember praying specifically that God would send Hoss to my life, but I do remember that I knew what I was looking for.  Someone who respected women, who was big and strong, and someone who was a gentle giant.   It wasn't a concious search, per se, but that is just what appealed to me.  Pure and Simple.   In 1992 I married my friend and life partner and we started "life" together, through thick and thin, good and bad, but mostly good.  Now fast forward to last week, watching the old, non HD version of Bonanza.  I'm sitting there watching, haven't thought about my "Hoss" obsession in a long long time and my mind is taking me back 25 years.  Let me just say right now that I prayed and prayed for healthy children, but I also must confess that I prayed and prayed for at least one baby girl.  I wanted to dress her in smocked dresses and leather t-straps and have huge bows for her white blonde hair.  She was going to take piano lessons starting at age 5 and have every Barbie doll known to mankind.  Gracious Uncertainty......... there it is again.  God, in his great wisdom, and because He probably remembered those Saturdays when I would sit in my small apartment  and admire the Cartwright men, saw fit to bless me with three boys.  He gave me my own "Pondorosa"  full of boys.  He gave me a "Ben Cartwright" who sees to it that these boys know how to work hard and then laugh around the dinner table.  He gave me strong gentle giants who respect their mother.    (He forgot to give me a "Hop Sing" but that's OK.....that's where I fit in.)

Gracious Uncertainty......... I think I was fixated on this phrase this morning because it summed up the feelings I had while getting this wonderful revelation while watching "Bonanza" on a Saturday morning.  GOD is in charge of the journey.  If I could have sat down and written out the story of my life I couldn't have come up with this colorful, humorous, eventful story He has put me in.   I'm so happy that He didn't make all of "MY dreams" come true because "my dreams" for my life were not nearly as wonderful as what He had dreamed.  I'm happy to get on the train and experience the journey.  I'm happy that there have been many people praying for me since the day in 1964 when I started the journey.  But most of all I am thrilled beyond belief that the creator of the universe determines my journey and not me.  Man, does it take the pressure off..........

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:18

"All is Well"

Last Friday was a normal day.  I was meeting my husband and my son, who had just come home from college, at a new coffee shop to have some lunch. I was almost there when the guy on the radio announced that there had been a "school shooting" in Connecticut and few details were out but that reports said that three people had been hurt and were at the hospital.   It caught my attention because anytime there is a news report concerning a school I stop to listen.  I spent five years as a high school and middle school teacher so my ears are always alert to "school news."  After we finished lunch I got back in my car just in time to hear the updated news.  This time the report was 27 dead, 18 children.  I wanted to push a "rewind" on the radio and make sure I had heard what I thought I heard.   I drove down the road with my mouth open and saying all I knew to say out loud, "Oh God."  As I continued to listen to the report I started to cry, I texted my husband (yes, I did pull over), and then I prayed.   It's really all I know to do when such sad and shocking things occur.  The feeling in the pit of my stomach reminded me of that terrible feeling I had when seeing the space shuttle "Challenger" disintegrate in midair and when I watched the towers fall on September 11, 2001.

I have watched countless reports on TV trying to figure out, in my finite mind,  how something like this could occur in a small town, much like the one I live in.   I have listened to commentators and preachers and politicians struggle to bring words to something for which there are no words.  I look at the precious angelic faces of the children, some who have lost their two front teeth and some who haven't yet.  I think of the first responders and the unimaginable scene they walked in on when they rushed in to try and save the classrooms full of children who were already gone from this Earth.  A feeling of sadness settles in and for some reason it feels "right."  As a parent I grieve with those who grieve and it feels "right."  I feel what I hear these parents in Connecticut say.....that they want to remember their sweet children.  They don't want to give voice to the evil, they only want to honor their precious little boys and girls.  They don't want to talk about gun laws or mental illness or hate.  They don't want anger to settle in yet.   They want to hold their child and brush their hair and tell them it's only eleven more days until Santa Claus comes.  The rest will come but for now they just want to grieve.  That's how I feel.  I don't want to analyze semi-automatic weapons or various mental disorders.  Right now it just doesn't matter and to me it seems to dim the bright lights of these people who have died. 

My mind goes to the killer's mother, who lost her life at the hands of her own son.  She had devoted her entire life to taking care of her child.  She had a love for him that only a mother knows.  Sacrifices, tears, fears, that only she knew about.  Yet, love immeasurable.  My mind goes to the principal who was also a mother to a houseful of girls.  She tried to protect her school by implementing extra security and then she tried to protect all of her students by throwing herself in front of the gun......There are countless others........the mother of 27 year old Vicki Soto who shielded her students and saved the lives of many.........

The reality of living your life as a mother is this.........when you hear the firetrucks and ambulances on the road or see the Lifeflight helicopter fly, you immediately do a mental checklist of each of your children.  When you wake in the night and they aren't home yet, you immediately start calling and texting to find them.  There are days when you can tell from their voice or from the look on their face that it hasn't been a good day and you would move heaven and earth to fix it.  You do like Mary the mother of Jesus did, you watch and you "ponder everything in your heart."  You would do just as the principal and the teachers and the first responders did.......you would  take a bullet for your child without a second thought. 

We went to our church Christmas program a few nights ago and the choir did a song called "Christmas in Heaven" where the writer wonders what  Christmas in Heaven is like after losing someone especially close to him.  I know, through my faith, and through God's word in the Bible, that every moment in Heaven is better than our minds can imagine.  Sort of like the best Christmas we can ever remember.  Those of us who have had people that we love pass on to Heaven can trust that these people along with all of these precious children are singing "Silent Night" with the angels and feeling the warmest light of love ever created.  They are truly dancing and singing "Joy to the World, the Lord has come." 

My  sadness hasn't lifted yet, but in my Spirit I know that "All is Well" and that my friends and family who are already there are happy.  Merry Christmas and may Jesus' love touch anyone who reads this.

The Best Gifts are the Unexpected Ones!!!

My sister and I have a long standing tradition of going to Bible Study and then going to eat lunch to hash out what was discussed in Bible Study.   We even go to the same place everytime, and most of the time we order the same thing, including the 99 cent cookie from the bakery.  Started out as "just our little treat" when all of our kids finally started school.  The tradition has continued for almost ten years and has seen our sweet children go from kindergarden to graduation.  Time flies and it doesn't seem possible that our conversations have gone from what will be their Halloween costume, to where will they go to middle school, to where have they applied for college.  Believe me, many many MANY dreams have been discussed  at our "post Bible Study" lunches.

I remember one conversation very well, just as I remember most conversations, thanks to my healthy "auditory recall" which I was blessed with in lieu of my bad eyes.  My sister and I were eating lunch and she told me that she had an idea and proceeded to ask me what I thought about it.  Her family had moved to a new home and she was praying for God to help her use her home for His glory.  Her idea was to start a summer camp for young girls.  The focus would be to make sure that each young girl claim the verse found  in Psalm 139:13-14 stating that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  The goal would be to build self esteem and help each girl find her specific gift that God had given her.  I remember listening as she went on about ideas and details.   My form of processing is to listen and process, listen and process, add a nod of the head, and process some more.  I'm also known for nodding and saying "uh huh, uh huh."  But after an hour or so of her telling me ideas and me processing,  my response was "you are definitely on to something."  Looking back, my response should have been "You don't know it yet, but God is up to A LOT and He is about to use you in a mighty way."  The two of us had NO IDEA how quickly "Camp Wonderfully Made" would take off and how great it would be.  We had no idea the challenges that would come and the blessings that would be lavished on it.  But God knew.  He was looking for a woman in Brentwood, Tennessee who would say "Here am I, send me."

Well, "Camp Wonderfully Made" has grown and prospered.  Many many girls have come to camp each summer and many teenage counselors and adult counselors have been touched by the lives sent their way.   God has grown "Camp Wonderfully Made" into "Wonderfully Made Ministries" and now girls from all walks of life get the benefit of not only coming to camp in the summer but also learning and gaining the blessings from the original mission that the camp was started on.  "Wonderfully Made Ministries" makes it possible for girls to go to ballet classes and take music lessons and do things that they wouldn't normally be able to do.  It enables them to dream their dreams so that one day they might "pay it forward" and help other little girls realize their gift of being "fearfully and wonderfully made."  

Shadow of the Cross, Close to the Heart of "Wonderfully Made Ministries."

There have been those who have been involved with "Camp Wonderfully Made" from the very beginning.  My sister has one daughter and she was "on board" from Day 1.   It is not a coincidence that my niece has been given the "gift" of a servant's heart.  She literally loves doing for others and has since she was a little girl.  She has been involved with virtually every aspect of "Camp Wonderfully Made" from administrative duties to lifeguarding to counseling.  But she truly shines when she is working"one on one" with a camper.  Often she can be found with the camper who is having a bad day or one who just needs a little extra attention.    They literally cling to her sweet spirit and kind smile.   My niece is now a senior in high school and is now contemplating her next step in her education.  She has worked very very hard to do well in school and get the scores needed to get into the college that she has always wanted to go to.......the University of Tennessee.  Her resume' is heads and tails above most others because, as I mentioned before, all she wants to  do is help others.  But she has done her due dilligence......hours and hours of tutoring, speech classes since she was three years old,  ACT Testing, and more testing, homework and more homework, and did I happen to mention more speech and more tutoring...........and did I mention that she always has a smile on her face and never a complaint in her beautiful heart?  So it was completely fitting,  that "Sweet C" got her early Christmas gift from the One who formed her and created her perfectly.  My sister was hosting a fundraiser for "Wonderfully Made Ministries" so that little girls could be given the chance to use their God given gifts for a higher purpose, when her own sweet girl pulled her aside to let her know that she had been admitted to the college she had worked so hard to get into.  When we heard the "ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!" shout from the kitchen, my older sister and I knew instinctively what was going on.  We both dropped what we were doing and quickly  made our way to our sweet sissie and niece to join in this celebration.  How fitting that these two who have given so much time to helping other girls find their gifts were now getting a huge gift of their own, with a Big Orange Bow.  I think that our Heavenly Father must have had a wonderful time coming up with this surprise for his two daughters who had so willingly followed his call to help others.   I can picture Him thinking "wouldn't it be great to give them this gift when they least expect it.  I know, I'll do this when they are busy focusing on giving to others."  Then I can picture Him, as we all gather and celebrate  in the kitchen, looking around at the angels  and saying "Well folks, that's what it's all about."    What a great gift from God to let us be there when "Sweet C" and her mom got this exciting news.

For those of you who wake up in the night praying for your child,  holding tight as ever to the faith that God loves that child more than you do and He will not disappoint......but then realizing that there are  certain things that  are out of your control...........Keep holding on........Keep praying.........Keep believing...........Keep following His call on your life.  That's my Story and I'm Stickin to It. 

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalms 139:13-14.

A Shout Out to "Second Tier" Blessings!!!

Hallelujah!!!!!  There is now a TV show that my entire family can enjoy together.  Not since "Friday Night Lights" have we had a show that we could all gather in the den and watch and genuinely enjoy together.  I have tried, on occasion, to get my 4 boys into one of  "my programs."  My husband does try to sit and watch "the girly" shows with me, just to be nice, but I can tell when he is about to throw in the towel.  Last week during "said girly show" he actually got up and went to iron his clothes for the following day.  Dead giveaway when he would rather iron than watch "my show." 

There are so many reasons to love "Duck Dynasty."  You have to actually sit and watch several episodes to really get the "Duck Dynasty fever."  But when you do, WATCH OUT, because you will find yourself watching and waiting for the next DD marathon.  It's one of those rare shows that is funny, pure, feels good, and sometimes, seems all too familiar, at our house.   These people all feel totally comfortable in their own skin and it shows.  They are thankful for their "redneck roots."  Things like family, religion, eating what you hunt, morals, forgiveness, and laughing are all in a day's work.  They don't apologize for their way of life, and it almost makes you yearn for the simpleness of it.........and then you realize that this is a "reality show" and some of it is staged and some is not.  Never the less, the concept is unbelievably inviting.  Seeing a grandfather take his grandchildren hunting and fishing and sortof weaving the wisdom of life into these times are what make this show special.  Phil isn't afraid to talk about the "birds and the bees" with his grandchildren, although he does it in a way  that is so appropriate and refreshing.  They respect nature, they respect guns and what they can do, they respect their wives and daughters, and they respect each other.  There's no bashing of either political party, there's no discussion of anyone's sexual preference, there's nobody sleeping around with someone else's wife,  or anything that gets one's feathers ruffled.   What it does focus on is hard work, family love and very funny stories.

When someone asks me what I am thankful for I immediately go to the biggies.   I try to never take my good health for granted.  Free country, family, all of the things that are the things we are most grateful for.  There are also things that don't really fit into the "first tier" of blessings, although they are huge in our everyday lives.  These are the things that almost on a daily basis you smile to yourself and think "I love that."  But it might not register on the list of biggies right here at Thanksgiving.  So today I'm gonna give the "Second Tier" of "Thankfuls" a "Shout Out"....... Those things that warm my heart and make me smile. 

I'm thankful for:  High School boys who "step up" to encourage the  younger guys.   I'm thankful for unexpected texts from my college student.  I'm thankful for brothers who aren't too cool to engage in an all out snuggle fest.    I'm thankful for the three women at Battle Page Insurance who make my husband's work day a little more bearable.  I'm thankful for Tuesday Bible studies with my parents and sister. I'm thankful that God invented music and the Brentwood Baptist Choir.  I'm thankful for the kids who totally make my day when they seem glad to see me and give me a hug.  I'm thankful for belly laughs with my sisters.  I'm thankful for much needed glasses of wine and dinners with my husband.  I'm thankful that I can talk politics with people who disagree with me and we still love each other.  I'm thankful for trips to the grocery store where you run into so many of your friends.  I'm thankful for melatonin to help me sleep better and good coffee to wake me up.    I could go on and on but suffice it to say, that when you get to this age it's the little things that totally brighten your day and make you sit back and take notice. 

So here's to "Second Tier" blessings and Duck Dynasty.......Happy Thanksgiving!!!!  That's my Story and I'm stickin to it.

Life's Disappointments

Life is full of disappointments.  It's literally always something.  Sometimes the disappointments are huge and other times it's just a momentary "shrug of the shoulders" disappointment.  This week  has just been a "losing" kind of week for me.  First, my candidate, Mitt, gets beat.  Then, several of "my teams" get beat and before you know it, heck, I've been on the "losing end" the entire week.  It should come as no surprise that the weekly Bible Study I go to on the Book of Daniel, was about the approaching tribulation and end of the world prophesies.   Just perfect to go with the kind of week I was in the middle of.......stinky, loser week.  As usual, I'm really trying to see the glass "half full."  I'm hopeful,  I'm praying,  I'm even listening to praise music to lighten my spirits.  I end the stressful week by making a full recipe of fudge tarts and enjoying every bite.  Nothing seems to help............

I think we can all agree that as "middle agers" we have dealt with our share of disappointments in life.  I'm talking about disappointments, not devestating events that are truly life changers.  The things like presidential elections, football games, failed tests, missed opportunities........those types of things.  By the time we reach 40-50 years of age we have learned to shrug our shoulders and probably mutter something under our breath like "Unbelievable," or, if you're a little more disappointed you might emaphatically say, "Man, that sucks."  (I know, I know..... Southern ladies should not say "sucks" but that sortof goes out the window when you're truly disappointed.)  Having said this, disappointment rises to an entirely,  I mean hugely, entirely, different level when our children suffer disappointments.  I have been known to literally turn red starting with my toes and ending with fire coming from my mouth and ears when I feel that my kid has been "wronged."    Whoever said that the "wrath of a woman is like none other" was a very very wise person.   The problem comes when you know deep down, as a parent, that your child must suffer disappointment in life in order to learn how to deal with life.   We would love nothing better than to go in "firing with both barrels" but we know deep down that is not the answer.  I think about how many times I have been disappointed and hurt through the years by friends, coaches, teachers, and sometimes, family.  I also think about organizations like schools, churches, teams, work places, politics, etc.... that I feel have treated me unfairly.   I have spent the past week going over some of these in my mind because I have truly had a "poor pitiful me" week and have, oddly enough, pondered through a lot of the disappointing moments in my life.   I can say that most, if not all, of those experiences had a pretty profound way of shaping who I am today.  I don't really remember if it was by nature that I dealt with these disappointments in a certain way or if my parents taught me how to deal with them.  It was probably a combination of the two.

What I know for sure and for certain, after having a pretty miserable time at my pity party this week, is that I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to be negative, and skeptical, and bitter and yuck.  I want to be joyful and happy.  Do I feel the need to have a "pity party" every so often?  Yes!!!  ...But I am thankful for friends and family who refuse to let me "park" there.  They encourage me to "move on."   I always said that I NEVER want to be the older person who is bitter and griping and complaining.  I want to be encouraging to younger folks and give them hope when the world disappoints them.  I'm finding that harder to do, the older I get, and the more I learn about how mean and unfair the world can be. 

This week as I was rounding the corner on my street I saw my precious neighbor, whose name I don't even know.  She gives me inspiration even though she has no idea who I am or that I am watching her.  It might be very cold or very rainy but she finds the strength to walk every day.  She "keeps on, keepin on." (And might I add that she had 4 Romney/Ryan signs in her yard.)    I also went to a college football game this weekend.  There I saw all kinds of people on walkers or in wheelchairs.  They had obviously struggled to get there.  Most were smiling and laughing and holding on to their mate.  They were loving life.  I see "Wounded Warriors" riding bikes while missing arms and legs,  I see posts on Facebook about parents who are taking care of premature babies and then I see posts about children who are fighting cancer, and winning.   I think that it's OK to vent every once in a while.  It's even OK to say that something "sucks" when it does.  It might even be OK to question God and why he allows certain things to happen in this world.  But it is never OK to lose our joy that comes through God's new mercies that he graciously gives to us every morning.   The joy that the creator of this universe loves us and has our backs, even when we don't realize it or even believe it.  He still does.  This, my friends is what I will ponder this week.  No more whining and griping..........I will ponder the amazing love that I never even earned or asked for.......I just received it.  Unbelievable.

 "And HOPE, does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts, by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."  Romans 5:5