When I think back on some of the "tapes" that play in my head.....you know, the mantras that you heard throughout your childhood, there are a few that come to mind. Now that I'm older it's fun and revealing to think about which ones of those actually "stuck." Admittedly, some were the proverbial "in one ear and right out the other." Others not only stuck but legitimately shaped the way I viewed myself and others. Believe me, there were MANY lessons to be learned. Sermons, we used to call them. I am positive that in the not too distant future, my kids will either be writing about or reminiscing on all of the sermons they were forced to listen to from me. It always happens at the dinner table or in the car. Somewhere where it's impossible to escape. I love it......History repeating itself. One of the things I never ever liked.......getting a sermon from my mom in the car........and now I'm doing it. Of course, we moms don't consider it a sermon. We prefer to think of it as a "lesson" or "quality conversation."
Back to the "tapes" in my head. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times....."Nobody is better or worse than anyone else. We all put our pants on one leg at a time. That's what Granddaddy Jenkins used to say." See, there ya go. Childhood lessons passed down from generation to generation. I grew up hearing it and now that I'm grown I believe it and live it. Never thought I'd say it but that is one sermon that I am so thankful for. It "stuck." It's nice not carrying an extra chip on my shoulder or worrying about what someone from the other side of the track is doing or not doing. It would get so old to try and keep up or look down, whichever way you might want to look at it.
Last week I got the chance to have "quality conversation" in the car with my son. Not sure he knew he was about to get the sermon but hey, he led me right into it. He happened to ask me about why everyone was bent out of shape over Vice-President Biden saying to a group "they gonna put ya'll back in chains." He truly didn't understand what all the fuss was about. My mind went to all kinds of answers. I obviously wanted to start with slavery and come forward but since I only had about five more minutes in the car I had to make it a mini sermon. So I resorted to my "tape." "We all put our pants on one leg at a time. No human is better or worse than the next. God created us all and loves us all." That answer wasn't good enough. "I know that, Mom, but what do the chains have to do with it?" New lesson. Hmmmm. Thinking cap on.....Lightbulb moment!! My child didn't understand or fathom the whole "class warfare" concept. He didn't "get" the joke. He thought it was mean. My point is not a political one really. My point is that each generation in our country has evolved into something different than the one before them. It made me wonder about how much his generation will get "caught up" in skin color, social status, educational hierarchy, etc...... I was looking at my 13 year old who hasn't been exposed to "class warfare" and I thought about how I wanted to protect him from this kind of thinking that goes completely against what Granddaddy Jenkins had been preaching 75 years ago. "Don't think of yourself as better or worse than anyone else." In the span of about three minutes that I had left I told him that I was "offended" by the comments because it implied that the "white man" conservative was going to put the "black man" liberal back in "chains," figuratively speaking. I told him that it had nothing to do with politics but everything to do with going backwards socially from where we had worked so hard to get to. I made sure to close my 3 Point Sermon with the fact that we are ALL created equal and if you are my son then you should know that "everyone puts their pants on the same, one leg at at time." It's freeing to be satisfied and content with the "track" that God has placed you on. It's nice to be happy for those on the other side of "the track" from you. I think I will continue to rewind the tape of this lesson for my kids. I think Granddaddy Jenkins would be proud.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Looking Back
The first part of the morning has come and gone and I'm taking time to sit and reflect on the morning. Since today is only a "half day," the second part of the morning is still to come. The first day of school comes with such anticipation. New school supplies, new teachers, new clothes, new experiences. But the old fears, memories, familiar stomach aches, are still present for many students, not to mention their moms and dads. I've heard it described as the "smell" in the halls. The "smell" of school. To some it's exciting and fun, to others scary and boring. It doesn't matter how healthy your breakfast was, how much sleep you got the night before or how many smiling teachers are there to welcome you at the door. The jitters still remain.
There are certain traditions that families have on the first day of school. It's my rule that I drive you to school, walk in to meet your teacher and take a picture. Well, this year I only got to drive one and would have been left by myself to wander the halls if I had tried to walk in to meet teachers. I love the way my 8th grader tried to soften the blow of this.....Me: "Do you want me to walk in with you and meet your homeroom teacher?" Him: "NO!!!" Well, then.
As I drove my 8th grader to school, we had the greatest conversation. After talking about the basics like how he needed to focus and begin strong, we then got down to the nitty gritty. It's very important to pack your backpack the night before and put your shoes by the door so you're not scrambling to get out the door. We also talked about other things that 8th grade boys should remember but moms can't mention on blogsites or they get in trouble. I mentioned to him that there would be some students who came to school with nervous stomachs and butterflies just because that's what school does to some. We talked about how a smie and "how's your first day going?" might help. So, there he went. Waved goodbye and into 8th grade. Never looked back. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but look back. I looked back to all of the "first days of school" in my life. How my mom ALWAYS had us ready for the first day of school. We had hit up the JP Brown Drugstore for our supplies and we had gone to Castner Knott for new clothes. We lived right by our school so we always walked to school. She didn't have to get in the never ending traffic but she always "watched" until we made it to the corner. As I was leaving the parking lot, sitting in traffic, I looked back to the years I had spent at the elementary school and middle school. I looked back to taking all three boys in, to three different hallways, and lingering on the last one because, well I knew it was the last. I saw in my my mind all of the incredible teachers who would patiently smile as I took the dreaded pictures of the kids at their desks. I looked back in my mind and saw my friend who never failed to have her children ready and organized for the first day of school, and who would not be here this year. I thought of the mom dropping her 8th grader off for school this morning, but missing her high school son who would not start school today. Snapshots.....some you wouldn't trade for anything and others that hurt to look at. So to the special teachers who have worked SO hard to make this day special, "THANK YOU!" To the moms and dads who have shopped, fretted and filled out countless forms, "BLESS YOUR HEART." And most of all to our families who are doing this in a new and far from normal way this year........."We love you and you are always in our hearts."
There are certain traditions that families have on the first day of school. It's my rule that I drive you to school, walk in to meet your teacher and take a picture. Well, this year I only got to drive one and would have been left by myself to wander the halls if I had tried to walk in to meet teachers. I love the way my 8th grader tried to soften the blow of this.....Me: "Do you want me to walk in with you and meet your homeroom teacher?" Him: "NO!!!" Well, then.
As I drove my 8th grader to school, we had the greatest conversation. After talking about the basics like how he needed to focus and begin strong, we then got down to the nitty gritty. It's very important to pack your backpack the night before and put your shoes by the door so you're not scrambling to get out the door. We also talked about other things that 8th grade boys should remember but moms can't mention on blogsites or they get in trouble. I mentioned to him that there would be some students who came to school with nervous stomachs and butterflies just because that's what school does to some. We talked about how a smie and "how's your first day going?" might help. So, there he went. Waved goodbye and into 8th grade. Never looked back. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but look back. I looked back to all of the "first days of school" in my life. How my mom ALWAYS had us ready for the first day of school. We had hit up the JP Brown Drugstore for our supplies and we had gone to Castner Knott for new clothes. We lived right by our school so we always walked to school. She didn't have to get in the never ending traffic but she always "watched" until we made it to the corner. As I was leaving the parking lot, sitting in traffic, I looked back to the years I had spent at the elementary school and middle school. I looked back to taking all three boys in, to three different hallways, and lingering on the last one because, well I knew it was the last. I saw in my my mind all of the incredible teachers who would patiently smile as I took the dreaded pictures of the kids at their desks. I looked back in my mind and saw my friend who never failed to have her children ready and organized for the first day of school, and who would not be here this year. I thought of the mom dropping her 8th grader off for school this morning, but missing her high school son who would not start school today. Snapshots.....some you wouldn't trade for anything and others that hurt to look at. So to the special teachers who have worked SO hard to make this day special, "THANK YOU!" To the moms and dads who have shopped, fretted and filled out countless forms, "BLESS YOUR HEART." And most of all to our families who are doing this in a new and far from normal way this year........."We love you and you are always in our hearts."
Friday, August 3, 2012
Life is challenging sometimes. The ups and downs, good days and bad, dreams achieved and dreams shattered. With my deep faith and my "glass half full" personality, I have been able to teach myself how to cope with the lights and darks of life. You know, the "big things".
I was never one to cry when dropping my child off for his first day of kindergarten. I think I was the only one who came out of the theater after seeing "The Passion of the Christ" with dry eyes. My feeling is that when people say, "Oh you are going to ball your eyes out," I immediately think to myself, "that's what you think." .......and I start to build what I call "the wall." If someone has told me that I am supposed to cry, then by golly, I'll show them that they are wrong. If you are a "40 something" woman, then you know that once the waterworks start, there ain't no stopping it. I'm talking about red nose, red eyes, snotty face..... pile of mess. If "the wall" isn't up and the tears start, you might as well get out a box of kleenex and 2-3 advil and plan for a nap afterwards. I have become very very good at "building the wall." Even pride myself on being bluntly realistic. Can state the facts with no problem.......if I know the facts. It's when those "facts" are blurry or you are caught off guard that the wall becomes impossible to construct, much less stand.
The past few weeks and months have been like that. Close friends, family with terrible terminal illnesses. My son's "senior year" and leaving the nest. Moving from the home we lived in for ten years where wonderful memories were made with my children and our neighbors. The kinds of events that I can "handle" because I know what is going to happen and what to expect. Wall built.......stating reality as it is..........moving on with glass half full. That's me. It's when the unexpected happens......you get the call that a wonderful friend has died. You get a picture on your phone of a man you hardly recognize because chemo has been so cruel to his body. You hear about families splitting apart and you wish you could just rewind time and put them back together.
Right when I have the wall built and everything under control, God once again reminds me that I don't and I will NEVER have everything in a nice neat box. Mothers have a special unique way of doing just like Mary, the mother of Jesus did........."but his mother treasured all these things in her heart." (Luke 2:51) I can think back over the years and have glimpses of times that I am positive only a mother can have. Glimpses of dropping a screaming son off in the cradle roll class at church, only to open my eyes and realize that we are attending our last Sunday service before he leaves for college. Glimpses of making a crying son get out of the car to go to a much dreaded football practice, only to open my eyes and realize that God had a plan going on even then. Glimpses of pictures and notes written to "Jesus" in HUGE writing by another son, only to look around at him backing out of the driveway in the car. These are the unexpected times when there is no "wall" big enough or strong enough. You don't really mind the kleenex and the Advil because you ponder these moments. They hit you when you aren't quite ready. But you close your eyes and treasure these moments because that's what Moms do and they always will.
I was never one to cry when dropping my child off for his first day of kindergarten. I think I was the only one who came out of the theater after seeing "The Passion of the Christ" with dry eyes. My feeling is that when people say, "Oh you are going to ball your eyes out," I immediately think to myself, "that's what you think." .......and I start to build what I call "the wall." If someone has told me that I am supposed to cry, then by golly, I'll show them that they are wrong. If you are a "40 something" woman, then you know that once the waterworks start, there ain't no stopping it. I'm talking about red nose, red eyes, snotty face..... pile of mess. If "the wall" isn't up and the tears start, you might as well get out a box of kleenex and 2-3 advil and plan for a nap afterwards. I have become very very good at "building the wall." Even pride myself on being bluntly realistic. Can state the facts with no problem.......if I know the facts. It's when those "facts" are blurry or you are caught off guard that the wall becomes impossible to construct, much less stand.
The past few weeks and months have been like that. Close friends, family with terrible terminal illnesses. My son's "senior year" and leaving the nest. Moving from the home we lived in for ten years where wonderful memories were made with my children and our neighbors. The kinds of events that I can "handle" because I know what is going to happen and what to expect. Wall built.......stating reality as it is..........moving on with glass half full. That's me. It's when the unexpected happens......you get the call that a wonderful friend has died. You get a picture on your phone of a man you hardly recognize because chemo has been so cruel to his body. You hear about families splitting apart and you wish you could just rewind time and put them back together.
Right when I have the wall built and everything under control, God once again reminds me that I don't and I will NEVER have everything in a nice neat box. Mothers have a special unique way of doing just like Mary, the mother of Jesus did........."but his mother treasured all these things in her heart." (Luke 2:51) I can think back over the years and have glimpses of times that I am positive only a mother can have. Glimpses of dropping a screaming son off in the cradle roll class at church, only to open my eyes and realize that we are attending our last Sunday service before he leaves for college. Glimpses of making a crying son get out of the car to go to a much dreaded football practice, only to open my eyes and realize that God had a plan going on even then. Glimpses of pictures and notes written to "Jesus" in HUGE writing by another son, only to look around at him backing out of the driveway in the car. These are the unexpected times when there is no "wall" big enough or strong enough. You don't really mind the kleenex and the Advil because you ponder these moments. They hit you when you aren't quite ready. But you close your eyes and treasure these moments because that's what Moms do and they always will.
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